Carl Hatch

FAIRFAX DISTRICT — Last weekend, hundreds of self-proclaimed not hypebeasts, but “Hyper-Beasts,” lined up by a Melrose storefront in anticipation of new clothing brand “Supremer,” unaffiliated with the more well known “Supreme” clothing brand. “I realized that once everyone started wearing ‘Supreme,’ the meaning became diluted because if everyone is supreme, no one is supreme, so I thought to myself, ‘What’s more than Supreme?’” said “Supremer” founder James Jebbia II, unrelated to “Supreme” fou

LOS ANGELES — In response to increasing numbers of homeless people, city officials yesterday finished the first installation of their project to redesign anti-homeless benches, but people worry that the giant spike design might be uncomfortable for those who wish to sit on them. “The current bench designs still allow homeless to stay in one spot for too long,” said LAPD officer Scott Mays, who many claim has held his officer spot for too long after a slew of abuse of power allegations. “Despite

WESTWOOD — Last week, the entire Life Science 15 lecture hall watched in admiration as first-year student Trip McCoy distinguished himself as being head-and-shoulders above the rest of his peers by taking notes on a legal pad, distinct from the swathes of notebooks and laptops around him. “I’ve never seen anyone exude so much power solely due to his choice of stationery,” remarked friend Dean Brigham as he watched McCoy struggle to leave the lecture due to masses of apparent fans. “There’s just

WESTWOOD – Campus tour guides were shocked last week when they reached the part of the tour at which they prompt guests to spot the differences between the two towers of Royce Hall because no discrepancies were to be found. “Us tour guides have absolutely nothing to say to visitors when we arrive at Royce now that the towers are symmetrical,” said Campus Tours representative Jessica Song while backpedaling to her apartment. “Whoever vandalized the towers was a total professional. Like, I thought

WESTWOOD — A recent study has shown that those students who distract themselves in class by doodling on their electronic writing devices may be suffering from lower retention rates than those who use pencil and paper. “Students who doodle on devices such as Apple’s iPad put themselves at danger for not retaining all that they could if they were to do the same thing using old-fashioned pencil and paper,” reported Denise Trainor of Pen15 Labs, conductor of the study. “Subjects using traditional me

Ad idea for a calendar app, Skej.

Ad idea for a calendar app, Skej.

Ad idea for a calendar app, Skej.

Written for the Laughbowl, a comedy show I produced and hosted, and sent out to schools I wanted to collaborate with.

Blurbs written for the Shenanigans Comedy Club Pledge Drive.